Introducing The Sound Musician: A Blog for Musicians Seeking to Feel Whole
Oh my goodness, hello! And welcome to The Sound Musician! It’s been a long time coming…
Seriously, I first started dreaming about a blog during my master’s degree around 2011/2012. Always interested in wellness, I dreamt up THIS blog during my doctorate in 2014 (though, my husband swears that he’s the one that came up with the name – I don’t remember it, but I’ll give him credit for it).
I bought the domain. I bought the site. Annnd.. nothing. I did NOTHING with it! I let it expire, and 5 years later the domain was still available, and now I’m giving this another shot. FOR REAL this time.
But first, let me back track and introduce myself to those of you who may not know me.
My name is Kallie Snyder, and I’m flute player and teacher in Lexington, KY. I have all the degrees in the music. Well, just three, but it feels like a lot! And ever since I set out on this professional journey in music as an 18-year old college freshman, I have dealt with self-doubt, negative self-talk, low-grade depression, comparison, imposter syndrome, perfectionism, a fixed mindset, and performance anxiety.
But that’s nothing new for musicians, right?
In the summer of 2018, I had my first true anxiety attack the morning of an orchestra concert. The effects of that isolated event (and everything that led up to it) left me with an anxiety disorder that turned my world upside down. I’m still amazed how such a brief moment in time created such havoc and misery in my life that would take months to subside.
Desperate to feel “normal” again, I saw my doctor, a counselor, and a massage therapist. I read articles, attended webinars, read books, and listened to podcasts about anxiety. I completely changed my morning routine and lost 10+ pounds (unintentionally) from that alone. I tried all kinds of self-care practices. Some were very helpful, and some were not.
Along the way, as I opened up to people about my struggles, I realized that SO. MANY. PEOPLE. have anxiety or other mental health issues under the surface. When I shared about my anxiety for the first time on social media, it was easily my most “liked” post. I think more people liked it than our engagement announcement!
And I think that’s telling.
I think we spend a lot of time trying to beef up our resumes and CVs, doing things that will look good on paper even though they don’t bring any joy to our lives. We spend a lot of time in fear of not being good enough – leading to practice avoidance or over-practicing and suffering from injury as a result. We spend a lot of time placing our self-worth in other people’s opinions of our playing, on a jury grade, on a job title, or a salary. A combination of these things is what led to my anxiety attack.
The Sound Musician reflects my personal journey to feel whole as a flute-playing human. It is my desire that by sharing my truth, others will feel encouraged to share theirs, and together we can create a musical community that is seen, heard, supported, and inspired to act (and perform!) in true alignment.
I’m so glad to be here, and I can’t wait to see what unfolds..
With peace & compassion,